Behind the Badge
by littlespider
Summary: AU. There are no such things as coincidences, or random happenings. There's always a story that makes it all make sense.
1. Author's Note

Ok, so for those of you who already started reading the original version of "Behind the Badge," I'd like to apologize. After reviewing some of the comments and rereading my Castle chapter, I realized that it 1) didn't do Castle justice and 2) was a sucky way to start the fic. So I've gotten rid of it and made this a purely Ryan and Esposito fic.

So, just to explain, I keep wondering why Ryan and Esposito decided to become cops. We really don't know too much about either of the boys' backgrounds, and this is my attempt at filling in the blanks. All chapters were inspired by the episodes "Sucker Punch" and "Den of Thieves." Hope you enjoy, and sorry for it being a bit Ryan-centric!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I still don't own Castle.


	2. Untold Past

What don't we know about the secret lives of Detectives Ryan and Esposito? This chapter takes place during "Sucker Punch."

* * *

When Ryan and Esposito were the first to answer the call, he felt like he was walking into a nightmare. On the floor of the apartment was a man he knew very well, though he hadn't seen him in quite a few years. Still, he let Esposito id the body from his driver's license, and kept carefully silent about him until he had; given the line of work this man was in, Ryan didn't want to associate himself with him.

"Meet the late Jack Coonan," Esposito said when Beckett and Castle finally arrived.

Beckett frowned. "Why is that name familiar?"

Ryan schooled his face carefully and answered. "Because it probably crossed over all our desks a dozen times over the last few years. Aggravated assault, A.D.W. arson…"

"Coonan had a heavy rep," Esposito picked up. "Word is, he's an enforcer for the Westies."

Ryan had known it was coming, but that doesn't mean he was ready for it. He swallowed and felt sweat trickle down his neck as his heart rate increased. Hopefully everyone would just accept it and move on… But, thanks to his rotten luck, that was not to be the case, because Lanie spoke up from her position by the body.

"Okay, remind me, who are the Westies again?"

"Irish mafia out of Hell's Kitchen," Castle responded quickly.

"They deal in cargo theft, counterfeiting, extortion…" Beckett told the medical examiner.

_And drug trafficking, kidnapping, loan sharking, prostitution, oh, and not to forget murder and hijacking,_ Ryan added silently to himself. Instead, he quipped, "And public urination of St. Patrick's Day."

Esposio smirked at him, while Beckett frowned. Ryan allowed himself a small chuckle, but inwardly he was smacking his head against a wall. This was going to be a long case.

* * *

"Ryan, Esposito." Beckett called, striding to her desk to grab her jacket and badge. She didn't need to look up to know that the two detectives would drop whatever they were doing to do whatever she needed. Sure enough, when she did glance back at them, they were both looking at her expectantly. "How would you guys like to come with us to intimidate some Westies?"

Beckett had realized that going in alone with Castle had not been the best idea. The Westies traveled in packs, and the only way she would get any respect from them at all was if she brought along her own. Esposito responded with the expected enthusiasm, quickly discarding the file he'd been holding and grabbing his jacket. Ryan, on the other hand, blanched slightly and seemed to stop short. Beckett took in the extra frown lines that sprung up on his forehead, but they disappeared soon enough when Esposito nudged the other man's shoulder.

"Everything okay, bro? You comin' or what?"

Ryan visibly had to gather himself, but he nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."

* * *

Castle glanced over at the two other detectives as he followed Beckett into the pub. She had explained her pack theory on the way over, and for the most part, it made sense. As an army vet, Esposito had an intensity that could definitely be intimidating; hell, Castle himself had been scared of the man when they first met! But Ryan... well, Castle thought that even _he_ was more frightening than the thin, easygoing detective. Still, he'd known Beckett long enough to trust her judgment, and besides, safety in numbers, right?

Finn Rourke had finished his eulogy, gotten down off the table, and moved a little ways away. Beckett moved to stand next to him, and all three of her boys followed suit. Rourke eyed them suspiciously.

"Dectective," he said, refocusing on Beckett. "Come here to honor the dead, I hope."

Beckett didn't respond to his question, simply indicating the two men behind her with nods of her head. "These are Detectives Esposito and—"

"And the littlest Ryan," Rourke finished for her, giving the youngest detective a thorough once over. His words caught the attention of the people nearest to him, and they jostled for a better viewing position. They couldn't believe what they were hearing. "Ye ungrateful little punk. Must be brave to show yer face around here. Either that, or incredibly stupid. After all I done for ye, ye think ye could just walk away?"

Although the members of his team turned to him with looks of confusion, Ryan surprisingly stood his ground. Although he swallowed convulsively, he held Rourke's gaze steadily. Without realizing it, his voice became rougher, his Irish-New York accent thicker. "You wanna get into this, Finn, fine, I'll come back later and you can talk all you want. But right now Detective Beckett has a some questions for you."

Rourke snorted. "Feh. Still being yanked around on a leash, eh?"

Beckett jumped in quickly, hoping to keep the situation under control. She didn't know what connection Kevin Ryan had to the Westies, but she was hoping to use Rourke's distraction to her advantage. "You lied to me, Mr. Rourke. You know exactly what happened to Jack Coonan. That once-over you gave Trucho was just a piece of theatre to throw them all off, just like your eulogy."

"Now ye be careful, Detective," Rourke warned, his brow furrowing.

"Or else what?" Beckett challenged, fighting down the fear that flared in her stomach. She knew the best way to handle mobsters like Finn was to meet them head on and let them know that she didn't find them intimidating in the slightest. However, that didn't mean she had to like it. "You'll kill me just like you killed Coonan after he went to the feds about you?"

"Enough. I'll not have ye slander him like this. Not tonight."

Beckett took a step further, getting in the older man's personal space. She kept her voice low and deadly. "I got it straight from the FBI. Jack reached out to them just before he died."

"He turned on you, didn't he?" Castle asked, jumping into the impromptu interrogation easily.

Rourke gave him a look of poorly veiled disgust. "Ye don't know what yer talking about, boy-o. Jacky Coonan was loyal to his last breath. He died in a state of grace. Even if what ye say is true, ye can be sure that Jacky wasn't talking to the g's about any of us."

Beckett cocked an eyebrow at him. "How can you be so sure?"

"Ye've heard of me," Finn replied gruffly, leaning in even further, and Kate could smell alcohol and smoke on his breath. "Ye've heard I'm a gangster and a thief. Surely… ye've heard I've killed men. But ye answer me this, Detective. Have ye ever heard of Finn Rourke running drugs? I won't tolerate it. Just ask yer laddie here," he gestured to Ryan with his chin.

The normally playful and easygoing detective glared at the leader of the Westies. "Focus, Finn. Someone was bringin' in drugs?"

Rourke didn't look very happy, and Beckett was sure it had been a while since anyone had bossed him around. He finally nodded. "Someone was bringing it in here, into my neighborhood, my backyard. I sent Jacky to find the bastards behind it – find them and punish them… according to our rules."

Less than half a foot away, Castle's eyes lit up. "Only they punished him instead."

"Aye, that they did," Rourke said, displaying genuine regret. However, it was gone a second later, replaced by a spark of anger. "Now… if ye have probable cause, I suggest ye arrest me. If not, I'll remind ye, this is a private party, and I'll thank ye to get the hell out of my place!"

Beckett held his gaze for a moment longer, then slowly turned and walked out. They weren't going to get anything else from Finn Rourke. The others fell into step behind her, but when Ryan moved to follow Rourke grabbed his arm.

"If ye'd like to drop by again, we can finish our, eh, discussion."

Ryan knew better than to take that as a suggestion. He knew that if he didn't show voluntarily, he'd get picked up by a couple of Rourke's men. He nodded tersely. "I'll be here."

Beckett could barely contain herself until they got out to their cars. She rounded on Ryan, giving him a look that would have sent hardened criminals cowering. "What the hell was that, Ryan?"

Both Esposito and Caste flinched at her tone of voice, but Ryan just shrugged. "Nothin'."

"Oh yeah?" Kate crossed her arms and frowned at him. "And when were you planning on telling me that you're on a first name basis with Finn Rourke?"

Ryan sighed. "Just leave it alone, Beckett. It won't interfere with our investigation."

"You know what this looks like, right? This looks like one of my detectives has a very personal relationship with the leader of the Westies!"

"Kate, please," Ryan said, his demeanor changing back to the young, somewhat vulnerable detective they knew him as. His piercing blue eyes pleaded with her. "Just leave it alone."

Kate would have responded, but at that very moment the woman who'd been crying inside the bar came hurrying out. She signaled the woman quickly, and they all piled into their cars before someone could see the rendezvous.

As they drove back to the precinct, Esposito glanced over at his partner. He'd remained silent throughout the whole exchange, but he could feel the tension rolling off of Ryan in waves. He thought back to the Ryan inside the pub, the guy who had squared his shoulders and talked back to Finn Rourke. Esposito had known is partner for a while, but he'd never seen that side of him before. What hadn't Ryan told him? Turning back to the road, he spoke quietly.

"Hey bro, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

Ryan sighed, and sent a tired look his way. "I know, bro. But this one you just gotta let go."

* * *

As they watched Beckett kneel on the floor beside the bloody Dick Coonan, Ryan couldn't help but feel relief. He loved Kate like a sister and hated to see her in pain, but he had to admit he had been overjoyed when they had discovered that their murderer was the same man who killed Kate's mom. It threw everyone off, and his run in with Rourke seemed to have been forgotten. And now that Coonan was dead, Beckett had gotten some measure of justice and they could put this whole case behind them.

Dick was dead. He still found it difficult to believe. He remembered walking to school with the Coonan brothers, remembered have to stop at every corner for "little Dicky" to catch up to the older boys. All he had ever wanted to be was just like his older brother, just like Jacky, and look where that had gotten him.

While most of the precinct had crowded around the scene in the hallway, Esposito was watching his partner. Try as he might to cover it up, Ryan was obviously agitated as he threw on his jacket and started walking towards the stairwell. He might have thought that everyone had forgotten about him in their concern for Beckett, but he was wrong. Esposito could never forget about his partner, especially after what had happened with Rourke.

He followed Ryan down to the parking garage, where the man was opening the door to his car. He jogged the last few feet, hoping to keep his partner from driving off. "Hey, Ryan! Where you goin'?"

Ryan looked up, his shoulders relaxing a bit when he saw it was Esposito. "I've got something to take care of."

"You're goin' back, aren't you?" Esposito asked. When Ryan didn't answer, he shrugged and started forward. "Fine, I'm goin' with you."

Ryan held out a hand to stop him. "No, you're not."

"Bro, I'm your partner," Esposito said, making sure to look him straight in the eye. "That means I'm with you 'til the wheels fall off."

Ryan sighed. "I know, man. Look, this is just something I gotta take care of alone. I shouldn't be too long."

"Bro, I don't care if you're a friend of Rourke's or not. You're a cop, and the Westies don't tend to like cops," Esposito said, coming straight out with what was worrying him the most: letting his partner go in without someone to cover his back.

"I'll be fine," Ryan said, his gaze softening a little at his partner's concern. "Tell you what, if I don't come back in an hour, you know where to find me, yeah?"

Esposito nodded, realizing this was the best he was going to get. Kevin Ryan could be one stubborn man. "Yeah, okay. Be safe, bro."

Ryan gave him a half smile before getting in the car, starting the engine, and driving away.

* * *

Next part coming soon! All reviews are appreciated!


	3. In Dark Corners

Thanks to _runeaglerun_, _Pikesmith_, and _Kerkerian-Horizon_ for reviewing!

Now, Ryan's meeting with Finn Rourke. Let's see what'll happen, shall we?

* * *

Ryan opened the door of the bar and entered into the gloom. The air was full of the smell of smoke, liquor, and the sound of Irish rock. He made his way over to the bar, and motioned to the bartender. The man clearly recognized him, because he gave him a suspicious once over before gesturing towards the back of the bar.

"Rourke's been waiting for ye," he said. "He's at the table towards the back."

Ryan nodded his thanks, and walked toward the far corner of the bar. Sure enough, there sat Finn Rourke in all his glory, drinking from a tall glass and talking quietly with some of the Westies' muscle. When the two beefy men saw the detective approach, they stood and moved a few table's over to give them some privacy, but close enough to defend the boss should Ryan try anything funny.

"Well, look who decided to show his face again after all these years," Rourke chuckled, leaning back in his chair. "Lit'le Kevin Ryan."

Ryan smirked at him, also leaning back and folding his hands over his torso. "Well, you didn't give me much choice."

Rourke just laughed again and motioned with his hand; a second later, the bar tender appeared with a glass of the good stuff for Ryan as well. He set it down and was already gone when Ryan started to protest. "That's real nice of you, Finn, but I shouldn't—"

"Oh, come on, drink it." Finn replied, waving at him with one hand. "It's on the house."

Sighing, Ryan gave in and took a sip. The cool liquid slid down his throat easily, and it reminded him of home, of his father. "So what's goin' on, Finn? 'Cause I don't think you asked me here just so you could buy me a beer. What'd'ya want?"

Rourke took a sip of his own beer before answering. "Ye close that case over Jacky Coonan?"

"Yessir," Ryan nodded. He probably shouldn't have been discussing the details of a murder investigation with a known mobster, but seeing as it was closed, he didn't see the harm. "It was his brother. You remember Dick Coonan?"

"Dicky?" Rourke frowned, as though he didn't believe it. "That fussy lit'le prick? What'd he kill his own brother for?"

"You were right about the drugs," Ryan said. "Only when Jack found out the runner was his little brother he didn't have the heart to kill him. He went to the feds instead and when Dick found out he killed him."

Rourke took a long swig from his glass and sighed. "What's happening to this world, that has brother turning against brother? Speaking of which…"

Ryan tensed, for he knew what was coming. He also knew that this was the real reason Rourke had wanted to meet with him.

"Ye seen yer uncle lately?"

"Who, Jimmy?" Ryan all but spat the name, and it still left a foul taste in his mouth. "That traitorous bastard. If I'd run into him, he'd be dead already. Why'd'ya ask?"

"'Cause that was his trade, smuggling cocaine into my territory. And I've still got a price on his head. He killed yer father, laddie."

Ryan frowned and gritted his teeth. "No, _your men_ killed my father."

"Yeah, well, it was yer uncle that set him up, ye and I both know that," Rourke reasoned, putting up his hands to calm the young detective down. "Yer father was a good man, Ryan. I'm just trying to do him a favor and keep an eye on ye."

"Yeah, well, do _me_ a favor and don't," Ryan snorted, swirling the beer in his glass.

Rourke fixed him with a look. "What, ye suddenly too good for the help of Uncle Finn?"

"Look," Ryan backpedaled, hoping to regain control of the situation, and quickly. As friendly as he had been so far, Rourke was known to have quite the temper, and he still had his muscle standing by. "I'm greatful for all you've done for me, Finn, I really am. You gave me a job, watched out for my family when I couldn't. But it's different now. I've grown up. I'm a NYPD detective, for god's sake!"

"All I'm saying is that I don't need you to watch out for me anymore. I definitely owe you one, but I'm not one of your men anymore, Finn."

Rourke nodded, looking down at the table. "Alright, I see how it is. Ye want to prove yerself, fine. But don't think that just because ye don't want it means that the help isn't there. I know for a fact that yer mother likes her monthly checks."

Ryan looked up at the older man, and blinked a few times. "You're sending my mother money?"

"Aye," Finn affirmed. "$300 a month. Consider it yer father's pension."

"No," Ryan said, running a hand down his face. "No. I don't want you talking to my mother. You have guys watching her place?"

Rourke shrugged. "I visit her personally once a month with a check. Why?"

Why? Because Ryan didn't like the thought of his mother entertaining one of the most dangerous criminals in the city, that's why. He stood to leave. "Look, just don't, okay? You ever need a favor, anything I can help with, you call it in, but you leave my mother out of this!"

Evidently, he said something wrong, because Rourke waved a hand and instantly his two bodyguards appeared on either side of Ryan. One of them forced him back down onto the chair, and the other gripped the back of his head and smashed it into the table in front of him. Ryan gasped in pain, spots of light dancing across his vision. He was vaguely aware of Rourke standing and leaning down over the table to get in his face.

"Ye listen closely, ye ungrateful little punk," Finn hissed, spit flying from his mouth. "After all I done for ye, ye off and become a pig! Ye don't want my help, then fine, don't come around here again. But what happens between me and yer mother isn't any of yer business, it's mine. If you'll stay out of my business, I'll stay out of yers. Ye got that?"

Ryan nodded, wincing when the movement sent pain lancing through his skull. Rourke snorted at him and reached for his drink. "Escort him outside."

That, of course, meant that the two meatheads carried him out the backdoor, and dumped him unceremoniously at the side of his car. Ryan lay there for a minute, fighting the pain, and waiting for the blur at the edge of his vision to disappear.

* * *

Esposito glanced at his watch for the millionth time that night. Castle had taken Beckett home, the Captain had gone to meet with the Chief, and Lanie was down in the morgue with Dick Coonan's body. Which left only Esposito, sitting at his desk with his sixth cup of coffee, waiting impatiently for his partner to get back.

And he only had one minute left. Esposito's hands lingered over his car keys, eyes on the second hand as it ticked around the face of his watch. Time up. Esposito stood, reaching for his jacket, when he heard a familiar voice coming from the hallway.

"Ma, listen to me. Has Finn Rourke been comin' over to the house?"

Esposito heaved a huge sigh of relief as Kevin Ryan ambled into the bullpen, only looking slightly worse for wear. He had a gash over one eyebrow that was bleeding freely, but his attention was focused almost entirely on the conversation he was having.

" Okay, well, stop inviting him in," Ryan said, collapsing into his desk chair. "Yes, I'm serious. Come on, Ma, I don't care how long you've known him, I don't care what he's done for me, he's dangerous!"

He rolled his eyes at Esposito, who snorted in response. "Yeah, I saw him a few days ago, and I just got back from meeting with him tonight. Yes, Ma, I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. But it would make me feel better if you stopped having him over. Thank you. Yeah, I love you, too."

Ryan hung up the phone, and let out a loud breath, before turning to Esposito. "Hey. You know, that probably won't stop her at all. She's probably baking cookies for the guy."

"Hey, yourself," Esposito frowned at him. "Bro, I was just getting ready to come after you."

Ryan laughed, but it came out sounding forced. "Why? I told you nothing would happen."

"Sure," Esposito returned, scooting closer to him to get a better look at the cut on his forehead. "This most definitely not nothing. You should get that checked out."

"Nah, I think I'm good."

Esposito fixed him with a look that was deadly serious. "Honestly, bro. You should at least get Lanie to check that out."

Ryan scrunched up his face and sighed. "Alright, fine. You're right. It is hurting like a son of a—"

"Ryan."

The Irishman stopped talking, and turned to look his partner in the eye. Esposito was really worried about him. He'd been acting weird since the case started, and if there was anything he could do to help, he wanted to do it. "Look, bro, you know I'd do anything I could to help you, right?"

"Yeah," Ryan smiled sadly.

"So let me in man," Esposito said, spreading his arms open wide. "Tell me what's goin' on."

Ryan looked down, and shook his head. "It's not worth it, bro."

"It's not worth what?"

"Your life. It's not worth risking your life for some stupid mistakes I made when I was a teenager." Ryan stood. "Look, it's getting late and I'm really tired. I'm gonna get Lanie to look at this, and then head out."

By the time Esposito responded, Ryan was already out the door. Watching his partner's retreating back, he felt his stomach clench uneasily. "Sure, bro."

* * *

I'm working on the next couple of chapters now, so they should be up shortly! All reviews are appreciated :)


	4. Hidden Loyalties

Before I get to the chapter, I just want to say that I am **so sorry** that it has taken me so long to update. I almost gave up on this fic a couple of times, as I just wasn't feeling it. But after watching my first Castle episode in months earlier this week, I felt that I just had to go on. Thanks so much for your reviews and patience! I hope to have more chapters up within the next couple of weeks.

This Chapter takes place during "Den of Thieves." Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Castle.

* * *

"I went to his funeral, held his wife's hand. And now you're telling me he's alive and working for Racine? That he murdered Finch?"

Ryan watched as his partner paced up and down the length of the bullpen, in obvious anguish. Javier Esposito was the most loyal person he knew, and he could only imagine how difficult it was for him to imagine that one of the people he had trusted most was a traitor to both himself and the Force.

Beckett, ever the negotiator, kept her tone calm and factual as she responded. "It was the perfect disappearance act. He knew that everyone would think that Racine had killed him and dumped his body somewhere.

Every line of Esposito's body was tense. "Nah, I don't see how he could to it, to the badge, to me? I would've taken a bullet for him."

This last sentence caused Ryan's stomach to clench unexpectedly, awash with various emotions. He hated the idea of Esposito taking a bullet for anyone, himself included. But he also knew that, if given the opportunity, the Latino would. Ryan couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy for Esposito's obvious distress over Ike Thornton. Of course he knew that he wasn't the other man's first partner, but he had never thought that Esposito had ever had the kind of relationship they had with anyone else. He certainly hadn't.

It wasn't often that Ryan let people in as fully as he had let Esposito into his life, and it turns out he didn't know as much about the other man as he thought he did.

As Captain walked towards the tense group, Kevin wondered vaguely if there was anything else Esposito wasn't telling him.

* * *

"That guy was outta line back there."

Esposito looked at his partner, and sighed. He appreciated the fact that Ryan looked genuinely concerned and pissed on his behalf, he really did, but he just wanted to stop thinking about it. "I'd be asking the same questions if I was in his shoes."

Ryan nodded, and fixed the Latino with a sincere stare. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

_Can I?_ Esposito couldn't quite hush the little voice in the back of his head. Ever since their run in with Finn Rourke and the Westies, it had been blatantly obvious to Esposito that Ryan was hiding something from him. In their line of work it was necessary for them to trust each other, to know about anything that might potentially impact the job. And right now, after the last couple of days he was having, Esposito was not in the mood to be lied to. He decided a deflection was the safest route to take.

"I put all that stuff behind me, bro. The only thing I have left from back then is this right here." He pulled out his keychain, showing Ryan the corny and yet meaningful 54th key chain. "Back in the day, when I was in the 54th, everybody used to carry one of these with 'em. It's like a sense of pride, you know?"

Ryan nodded, but he was looking at the keychain with more than general interest. "Ike have one of those?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Let me see it." Ryan held the keychain up to the picture of the weird symbol on the murder board. In that moment, the rest of Esposito's world came crashing down around his ears. "54th. It must have broken off when he was struggling with Finch."

"It _was_ him," Esposito swallowed thickly.

"You know," Beckett (_when did she get here?_) said softly, "no one would blame you if you stepped off this case."

"No." Esposito shook his head. "Partner or not, he killed a man."

* * *

"Hey, I thought you were going for a walk!"

Esposito sighed, and turned around to find Ryan jogging towards him. He didn't have time for this right now. "What do you want?"

He forced down the wave of guilt he felt just as fast as Ryan stifled the hurt look that filtered across his face. "Thornton's going after the ledger tonight, isn't he?"

"The man's been on the run for three years, separated from his family. I gotta help the guy, so don't try and stop me," Esposito said rather harshly, reaching for his car door.

"I'm not," Ryan said, starting forward again. "I'm going with you."

Esposito stopped him with a stare. "No, you're not."

Ryan looked confused and blurted, "I'm your partner. That means I'm with you 'til the wheels fall off."

Esposito almost flinched as his own words were flung back in his face. Any other day, it might have worked. But right now… Right now he was fighting just to keep his head above water, to keep from drowning in the various emotions he could feel swimming through his head.

"I know, bro. But… I'm gonna need you to get my back if things go wrong, alright?" The excuse sounded lame even to his own ears.

Kevin looked like he was going to argue, but thought better of it at the last second. Instead, he visibly deflated, looking down as he scuffed the toe of his shoe on the garage floor. "Okay."

"Thanks." With that, Javier got in the car, and didn't even look back as he drove away.


	5. New Tension

Here's the next part. It's now totally AU, and takes place a few months after "Den of Thieves."

Special thanks to _Tv Centric Universe_ and _lynneanne_ for reviewing!

Disclaimer: Don't own.

* * *

Castle frowned at the murder board; this was one frustrating case. They had two wealthy brothers dead, and one frantic mother who was threatening to sue the Police Department if they didn't put the killer behind bars. Needless to say, they were going to have any case cracking revelations, sooner would be better than later.

"So, Castle, any wild theories? I'm feeling like we could use one right about now." If possible, Detective Kate Beckett looked even more frustrated than the writer did. They had been on this case for nearly a week without any good leads, never mind any good suspects.

"I don't know," Castle replied, the facts bouncing around his head. "We've got two rich boys with their own packaging company that's doing well enough to keep mom living however she pleases. Lots of ladies but no real girlfriends, lots of friends but no enemies. Heck, no one even stands go benefit because they left their entire company to their 5 year old nephew."

Beckett sighed, and Castle wished he had the answers to make the frown lines on her forehead disappear. "And we're sure the sister didn't know anything?"

"Positive," Ryan piped up from his desk, where he was flipping through various files, hoping to find a connection of some kind. "She thought they were in the Hamptons for the weekend."

"Great. Okay, uh, Ryan, Esposito, go back to the Marcus brother's house, see if we didn't miss something."

"You got it, Boss," Esposito quipped, grabbing his jacket and heading for the parking garage. Ryan, who's coat got caught on his chair, was forced to jog to catch up with him.

Beckett turned back to frown at the board, while Castle watched the retreating back of the two male detectives. "What's up with them?"

"What do you mean, what's up with them?" Beckett asked, not even looking away from the whiteboard.

Castle gave her an incredulous look. "You're kidding me, right? I thought you're supposed to be a detective!"

"What I meant," Castle backtracked quickly at the murderous glare Beckett turned on him, "Ryan and Esposito have been acting really… _weird_ lately. No more beer invites after shift, their witty banter is forced and, well, _lame_, and it's just been feeling a little awkward around here lately."

Beckett now nodded. She, too, had noticed the subtle shift in the relationship between her fellow detectives, and she didn't like it one bit. In fact, Beckett really hoped they would figure out whatever was going on, or she would have to take maters into her own hands. It wasn't safe for them to be going into the potentially dangerous situations with weird tension between them.

"I don't know what to tell you, Castle. Sometimes people just change."

"Yeah, I know, but overnight? Everything was fine until that case with Ike Thornton…"

"Maybe that's it, then," Beckett shrugged as she retreated into the break room for more coffee, Castle following close behind her like a lost puppy. "Sometimes cases involving old partners can shake things up a little. I'm sure things will go back to normal soon."

The writer only shrugged and headed for the cappuccino machine. Beckett watched him over the rim of her mug in amusement. Goofy and irresponsible though he was, she couldn't fault the man for his big heart.

"Hey, Castle, were you really tipped off by the fact that their banter was 'lame'?"

* * *

"I don't understand why Beckett sent us back here. We already check everywhere, CSU gave it a once over… there's nothing here!"

Esposito turned to frown at the other man. "Well, in case you haven't noticed, we're running out of leads, and fast. She's getting desperate."

Ryan shrugged in acceptance, his gaze sliding away from Esposito rather than holding eye contact. "Let's just get this over with."

Esposito struggled to suppress a sigh as he began working his way methodically through the front hallway. For some reason that he couldn't seem to put his finger on, things had been really awkward with Ryan lately. It started with a couple declined offers to get drinks after work, and a canceled Madden night, and suddenly they were strictly work friends. The smaller man had also become strange about physical contact; the boys had never been overly affectionate or touchy with each other, but a whole aspect of their friendship could be seen in the way they nudged each other, offered support, and in the various handshakes they had come up with over the years. Now Ryan practically flinched away every time they even came close to touching. Add this to the lack of eye contact, and you had one very frustrated and confused Javier Esposito.

They were both doing their best to keep up the jokes and banter at the precinct, to keep the others from realizing how far apart they were drifting. But Esposito wasn't an idiot; he knew that they were slipping, and that Beckett and Castle were probably already concerned. He really needed to talk to Ryan about this tension, even if he had to corner him in the locker room after shift. It was getting ridiculous.

"Find anything?" Ryan asked, walking out of the kitchen.

Esposito, who had worked his way through the entry hall and into the living room shook his head. "Nothing. Not that I was expecting to. You're right, we've already been through this place with a fine toothed comb."

"Yeah," Ryan nodded briefly, the frown lines on his face seeming more pronounced than normal. "Guess we should check the back, though."

The two detectives had just barely crossed through the doorway of the Marcus brother's study when they noticed that one of the closet doors was partially open. Hands straying to their guns, they advanced cautiously. To their surprise, the back wall of the closet had been moved, revealing a passage behind the closet. Exchanging a quick look with Ryan, Esposito took point and they advanced into the dark space, guns out front of them.

The passage was narrow and dark, but only lasted for about four or five feet before opening up into a large storage area. There were a couple of dim light bulbs protruding from the back wall, providing just enough light for the detectives to make out multiple black crates.

"What the heck is going on?" Esposito asked, approaching the nearest crate and lifting the lid.

Ryan sucked in his breath, looking at the different pieces enfolded in foam packaging. "These are gun parts. Looks like the Marcus boys were doing a little work on the side."

"We better call Beckett," Esposito said, holstering his gun and pulling out his cell phone.

Ryan, on the other hand, seemed tense and didn't relinquish his hold on his weapon. "Hang on a sec. This wasn't open last time we were here. That means someone's probably –"

Before the other man had a chance to finish, something cracked sharply against the back of Esposito's skull. As he crashed to the floor, he heard yelling and a sharp crack. Pain exploded behind his eyes as he smashed his already abused head against the hard concrete floor, and darkness overcame him.

* * *

Cliff hanger! Should hopefully have the next couple chapters up soon. Remember that writers live off reviews :)


	6. A Dangerous Situation

I must be evil for keeping you all waiting so long! I cannot apologize enough. I don't know if this makes it any better, but I've already started writing the next chapter, and will hopefully have the entire fic wrapped up by this weekend.

A quick thanks to all of you for sticking with me through this very painful journey, and especially to _Tv Centric Universe_, _runeaglerun_, _Silverprint_, _Natz5_, _lynneanne_, _Thoughts Of A Shadow_, _silvermoongirl10_, _Extant_, _The ButterflyCurse996_, and _misenoma_. Your reviews were what kept me from giving up!

Now let the agony of waiting end, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Castle is... wait for it... not mine!

* * *

It was the harsh pounding in his head that jerked Esposito back to consciousness. He groaned quietly; it felt like someone had taken a jackhammer to the inside of his skull.

"Javi? That's it, you gotta wake up, bro."

_Kevin?_ Javier panicked momentarily, realizing that he had no idea where he was or what was going on. But if he was hurt, chances are both he and Ryan had been in a dangerous situation. Somehow he managed to shoot upright, forcing his eyes open and looking around in confusion. He immediately regretted it, though, as grey spots danced in and out of his vision and the room around him spun.

"Hey, you're okay. Nice and easy, Javi, you took a serious knock to the head."

The calm, quiet voice of his partner grounded the injured man, and after a painful moment, Esposito was finally able to ground himself somewhat. Calmer, he found himself lying on the cold concrete floor of what appeared to be a storage room. That's right, they had been investigating the Marcus brother's home when he and Ryan had stumbled upon a hidden storage room. And there he was, the man in question, sitting against a stack of crates just a few feet from Esposito.

The Irish detective broke looked at the other man in concern. "How you doin' over there?"

"I'll live," Esposito ground out, although the pain in his head said otherwise. _ No thanks to you_, he added silently. He had to admit that he was more than a little pissed at Ryan. Sure, they were off their game, hadn't been as close lately, whatever you wanted to call it. But if it had been Ryan that had been knocked unconscious, not a thing in the world could have kept Javier from his side. Ryan didn't look like he'd even made an effort to come to his partner's aid. "What happened?"

Ryan coughed. "We got jumped. And it wasn't just one guy, there were a couple of 'em. I didn't move fast enough. They knocked you out and locked us in here."

Well, that would explain why it was so dark in here. The two bare light bulbs protruding from the back wall did little to cut through the general gloomy atmosphere of the room. Standing, Esposito used the wall as support to check out the way they came in, and sure enough the entrance was bared. He ran his hands over it, searching for some kind of latch or handle, but to no avail. Esposito sighed; it was just their luck that they always seemed to get into these kinds of situations. "Did you call Beckett? Let her know what happened?"

"No, I-" Ryan coughed again, looking embarrassed. "They took both our phones."

Esposito fished through his pants pockets, only to find that the other detective was telling the truth. He couldn't help the wave of anger that rocked through his body as he turned on his partner. "So what? They knocked me out and you went all compliant?"

Ryan frowned at him. "What'da'ya talkin' about?"

"I don't know man," Esposito replied shortly, moving across the length of the room in a pacing motion. "All I'm saying is I come around to find that they've taken our phones, left us with no way out, and you've what? Sat there and let it happen? What is _with_ you bro?"

Esposito watched as some of the color drained from the Irishman's already pale face. Ryan opened his mouth to talk, but Esposito had repressed his feelings for too long already and now they came spilling out unchecked. "You've been weird with me since the case we worked with Ike. So what is it? Jealous that I would be willing to take a bullet for someone other than you?"

An wide range of emotion filtered across Ryan's face as he tried to protest. "No, it's just... you never mentioned him before. And I thought we were brothers, thought we shared everything."

"Yeah, well, you're the one who broke that rule, weren't you, Ryan?" Esposito scoffed. "At least when Ike lied to me, it was because he was trying to protect his family!"

At this Ryan made a quick, jerky move to stand, but ended up sinking back down with a pained gasp, hands clasping at his side. Esposito frowned down at the other man, watching him curl into himself against the pain. Alarm bells were going off in his head, warning him too late that all was not as it seemed. In an instant he was kneeling hesitantly by Ryan's side, his own pain and anger forgotten. "Ryan? What's wrong?"

In answer, the younger detective simply removed his hands from their position against his side, revealing a bloody mess of a shirt. Esposito cursed and bent to lift aside the fabric, getting a better look at the wound. It was a single shot clean through Ryan's side, and was bleeding heavily. The Latino detective hurriedly pulled off his jacket, folded it up into a compress, and pressed it against the wound in an attempt to slow the bleeding. "Damn it, Kev, why didn't you say anything? You could have died while I stood there yelling at you!"

Ryan shook his head slightly, his eyes clamped shut as he attempted to breathe through the pain. His response came out tight and pained. "It needed to be said."

As much as Esposito wanted to argue, he found he couldn't. They both had been tiptoeing around the issue long enough; maybe they could actually address it now that it was out in the open. That is, if Ryan could pull through this. "How'd this happen?"

"One guy pistol whipped you," Ryan whispered, opening his eyes to look directly at his partner. "He was gonna shoot you, but I got away from the other guy and got in the way."

"Kev..." Esposito used his free hand to rub at his temples, sitting down heavily next to the other man. How could he have ever assumed that Ryan, the most loyal guy he knew, would have allowed him to be injured without putting up a fight? "Bro, I'm sorry, I never should have-"

" 'S fine," Ryan brushed it off. "I haven't really given you much of a reason to trust me over the last few months."

"Still," Esposito insisted, his guilt intensifying the dull ache in his head. "I know you, bro. You've always got my back, always. I shouldn't have yelled like that."

Ryan's only response was a slight shiver of pain. Esposito took a really good look at the other man, and did not like what he saw. Ryan's face was pale and bathed in sweat, and yet he was shivering pretty badly. Thankfully, the wound appeared to be clotting nicely, the flow of blood noticeably slowing. Still, Esposito wasn't taking any chances, and maneuvered Ryan into a position lying flat on his back with his knees bent, to prevent him from going into shock. Then, shifting into a more comfortable position himself, he glanced at his watch.

"Well, we've been gone about forty minutes, and Beckett'll probably expect us to check back on the hour," Esposito glanced down at his partner. "So that leaves us about twenty minutes until Beckett and Castle notice we're not back yet. Think you can hold on until then?"

Ryan coughed again, but managed a weak smile. "I don't really have much choice, do I?"

Esposito shook his head vehemently. "No, you don't."


	7. History Revealed

Here's the next chapter, in which we finally get to learn more about Ryan's past! There's probably only one more after this, so enjoy it while you can :)

Thanks to _The ButterflyCurse996_, _silvermoongirl10_, _minsenoma_, and _Tv Centric Universe_ for the reviews!

* * *

"Alright, yes, thank you."

Kate Beckett all but slammed the phone back onto its receiver, earning her a smirk from Castle. She let out a frustrated groan leaning back in her chair. "Nothing. Nobody knows anything, and the mother's alibi still checks out."

Richard Castle nodded patiently, but it was clear to the detective that he was about to start bouncing off the wall. "Great. Now that you've proven why it was worth it to work through lunch, can we _please_ get something to eat now?"

"Sounds good to me," Beckett replied, stretching slightly as she stood for the first time in over an hour. "I'll call Ryan and Esposito and see if they want to join us."

"Can we get Chinese?" Castle quipped, way past paying any attention to what she was saying. "Or we can try this new Thai place they put in over on-"

"Huh, that's weird," Beckett cut him off, frowning at her cell phone. "Neither of them are answering their cell phones. When did Ryan and Esposito head over to check out the Marcus brother's house?"

Castle glanced at his watch briefly. "I don't know, a little over an hour ago. So what do you think? Chinese or Thai?"

"They should have checked in as soon as they got to the house." A sense of urgency suddenly gripped Kate, and she hurriedly shrugged on her jacket. "Lunch is going to have to wait, Castle. Come on. I've got a bad feeling."

* * *

"I-is it getting colder, or is it just me?" Ryan asked, his voice husky. Esposito looked down at his partner in concern. Ryan's lips were starting to take on a light blue tinge, and his shivering had increased. Shock was setting in.

"Maybe a little," Esposito lied, shifting closer to Ryan in a feeble attempt to share some of his body heat without actually moving him. He glanced at his watch for what felt like the millionth time, and silently willed Beckett to hurry up and find them already. Ryan's breathing was starting to take on a ragged edge, as though it were becoming increasingly difficult.

"I started working for 'em when I was twelve," Ryan murmured, breaking the silence.

Esposito frowned in confusion, not following his line of thought. "For who, bro?"

"The Westies."

"Ryan, stop." Javier nudged him gently. "What I said earlier... You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I still trust you."

"I know," Ryan licked his lips. "But I want you to know, in case I don't make it outta here. I want you to know why I did it."

Esposito stiffened at his partner's words. He wanted to tell Ryan to stop being dramatic, that he was going to be fine. But the reality was, if backup didn't get there soon, Esposito doubted the other man stood much of a chance. The bleeding had slowed, but it had by no means stopped. It was all Esposito could do to sit here helplessly, watching him suffer.

"I started working for them when I was twelve," Ryan started again, shifting around slightly until Esposito's hands stilled him. "My dad was an Irish grocer livin' on the edge of Hell's Kitchen, 'course we had connections to the Westies. Finn himself used to stop by occasionally to buy his vegetables. He used my dad's store as a sort of smuggling center. He needed to get some gun parts other members, my dad would wrap it up with the bread or the meat when they came to pick up. Sometimes things would get smuggled in from outside the neighborhood in our deliveries."

Ryan coughed, and Esposito considered what he was hearing. "So what happened? What did Rourke mean when he mentioned drug running?"

"My uncle Jimmy." Ryan paused, disgust showing through the creases of pain on his face. "He's my dad's younger brother. I don't remember too much about him, except that Ma never really liked him. He was always getting into one bad thing or another, but my dad was always trying to help him out, even gave him a job at the store.

"Then Jimmy had the great idea of tryin' ta smuggle cocaine into the neighborhood using my dad's shipments. He only managed to sell a little before Rourke noticed. But that didn't stop him, 'cause he knew nothing solid could link him back to the shipments of cocaine." Despite his weakened state, Ryan's voice became a sort of growl. "That bastard skipped town the same day that Rourke's men walked into our store and opened fire."

"Rourke had your dad killed because he thought he'd turned on him," Esposito guessed.

Ryan nodded. "He had him killed because he thought he'd gotten greedy. Life wasn't so easy after that. Eventually Jimmy was exposed as the real drug runner and Rourke apologized, but that couldn't bring my dad back. Ma was real freaked; she picked up a couple extra jobs, but it was still hard for her to support us all. So I reached out to 'Uncle Finn' for help and he put me to work."

Suddenly Ryan's breath caught in his throat, throwing him into a full on coughing attack. Esposito watched helplessly has the smaller man's whole body convulsed, both from the coughing and from the pain of jostling his wound. Once Ryan managed to get a hold of himself and had calmed down slightly, Esposito bent to check the wound. Whatever clotting that had occurred had been forcefully undone by the wracking coughs, causing it to bleed more heavily again.

"Shit," Esposito breathed, replacing his jacket over the wound and reapplying pressure. Ryan grimaced, and Esposito knew it was all he could do not to shy away from the pain. "It's bleeding again. We can talk later, Kev. You need to take it easy."

"No," Ryan choked out, shaking his head. "No, I- I'm okay."

Esposito knew that his partner was anything but okay. The Irishman's eyes kept sliding closed and, if possible, he was even paler than before. But Esposito also recognized that this was something that Ryan felt he needed to get off his chest, and he let him continue.

"First I was just an errand boy." Ryan rasped, his breathing finally settling back to a more normal pattern. "You know, taking messages back 'n forth between among the gang, small stuff like that. Did a little bit of stealing, a little spying in other neighborhoods for Rourke. He liked that I never got caught, and by the time I was sixteen he was letting me case joints for him by myself."

Ryan looked up at Esposito, shame reflecting from his pale blue eyes. "So yeah, I have a connection to the Westies. I was one."

Esposito nodded, taking all of it in. He never would have thought that mild mannered, goofy Kevin Ryan would have been a member of the Irish mafia. "But you got out, bro."

"Yeah, well, not by _my _choice," Ryan snorted, much to Esposito's surprise. "I was becoming fairly well known in the neighborhood as one'a Rourke's boys, and one day when I was walking home from school I was jumped by a rival gang. They picked me up, beat me within an inch of my life, and dropped me in front of one of Rourke's favorite hangouts. I jus' barely got lucky. Anyways, Ma freaked and packed us all up and moved us out of Hell's Kitchen. And I haven't talked ta Finn Rourke since then."

"Until the Dick Coonan case," Esposito supplied.

"Yeah," Ryan sighed, his eyes sliding shut again. " 'salways a strange kid. Useta follow us older boys 'round."

Esposito frowned, not only troubled by what Ryan had just revealed to him, but by how much more pronounced the slur of his words was becoming. He was just about to mention it, when he thought he heard voices coming from the rest of the house. Esposito grabbed Ryan's hand, and moved it to hold his jacket in place against the wound. "Hey, bro, think you can hold on to this for a sec? I think I heard someone."

He hurriedly made his way back to the entrance of the space, and pressed his ear against the door. Sure enough, he could hear Kate and Castle as they moved through the house, calling out for the other two detectives. Raising his fists, Esposito pounded as hard as he could against the door, trying to get their attention.

"Hey! Hey, we're in here!"

A minute later, Beckett's voice sounded from the other side of the wall. "Esposito?"

"Yeah, Beckett, it's me! The door locks from the outside."

"Yeah, I see it," Her voice was further muffled as she bent to presumably consider the lock. "Ryan in there with you?"

"Yeah," Esposito said, his entire body pumping with anxiety. "You gotta hurry, Beckett. He's bad, real bad. We're gonna need an ambulance right away."

"On it," Castle's voice sounded from further back.

"Stand back, Esposito!"

The door came flying open, and then Esposito was rushing back into the room towards Ryan, the other two close on his heels. He knelt by his partner with Beckett while Castle relayed information to the 911 operator on the phone. In the two minutes Esposito had been gone, Ryan had lapsed into unconsciousness and they could not rouse him.

"What happened?" Kate wanted to know, peering at the wound herself.

"We got jumped," Esposito said, blinking past the spots that decorated his vision. His headache was beginning to come back with a vengeance, probably due to fading adrenaline now that he knew help had arrived. "Knocked me out, shot Ryan. It's a through and through, but I couldn't get the bleeding to stop."

"Paramedics say they're three minutes out," Castle reported, joining his companions next to the prone detective on the floor. "Poor guy can't seem to catch a break."

Kate eyed her unconventional partner. "He will if he lives."


End file.
